Capricorns are people born between Dec. 22 and Jan. 19, known for being ambitious, determined and realistic. They’re associated with the element of earth, depicted as a sea goat and ruled by the planet Saturn. Alternatively, according to artist-cum-astrologer Heather Buchanan, “Clopricrumbs” are associated with the element of “krypton,” have a “good and footy” kind of foot shape and, if they were a flower or plant, would be a “Venus flytrap that is contemplating veganism.”
Buchanan, a visual artist (and member of the Top 40 Under 40 Class of 2019), never could have predicted she’d become an internet astrologer. Until 2021, she didn’t even know how to spell “Taurus” — that’s actually what prompted her to poke fun at her own ignorance with a 12-piece, original art series on the zodiac signs. “The idea had been percolating in my mind to build on that and make fun of myself for being the last woman in the world who just didn’t know anything at all about astrology,” Buchanan says.
But fate (or, as Buchanan would say, “the magic of algorithms”) intervened after she posted that series of quirky illustrations and playful advice on Instagram, and it quickly snowballed from silly side-project to its own account, @horror.scoops. Buchanan began posting weekly satirical horoscopes with original art to the account, which now has 200,000 followers and counting.
“They were the most popular things I’d ever posted,” she says.
“People loved them.”
Eventually, the project evolved into a book, Blame the Stars, released this past May. With the intention of staying as ignorant as possible of the mechanics of astrology (and achieving maximum creativity), Buchanan describes Stars as “a safe space for wild ideas.” The book is separated into two parts. Part 1 dives into sign-specific insights on love, life and work and Part 2 is a 12-month guide for all the signs, complete with fictional holidays (like Dec. 11, “Make Soup for a Spider Day”) as well as outlandish journal prompts (“What maniacal holiday rom-com would you produce if you successfully staged a coup and took over Hallmark?”).
“On one hand, I want to know the theory,” Buchanan explains. “I’ll know a bit about Ptolemy and the history and the ancient Babylonians who developed this tradition of astrology, but I couldn’t tell you anything about an actual Libra, right?”
The artist, who’s still a skeptic at heart, thinks part of the reason astrology is so popular is that it can be a tool of self-discovery, as well as a way to connect with folks who are also interested in the universe, especially in turbulent times. Her particular brand of horoscopes might not be the zodiac we’re familiar with, but maybe it’s the kind we need: a lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek version of introspection and guidance, humorous enough to be shared and discussed with friends.